Are We Human? Or Are We Scanners?

When smoking through the Trache Hole isn't enough

January 29, 2010 Friday 04:14 Lamai Beach Koh Samui Thailand

There are things in life that are simply incomprehensible. The older I get and the more self actualized I get, the more I have come to realize and accept this. “No man is so wise as to say he knows it all.”

There are horrors and pain in this world that are produced by evil and vile men on to others for reasons known only to them. For any amount of logic, intelligence, belief, and idea is beyond trying to understand why these things are done.

I sure as hell can’t for the life of me understand why some of the things are the way they are, which is fucked up, instead of being something better.

I’m coming to grips with the fact that there are so many more people in the world than when I was half my age. The world was once a big place, but grows smaller with each breath and word I write. It grows with populations of people with their own needs, desires, agendas, and not all of them good.

My wife was accurate in her description about things going on with groups of people simultaneously. We were walking up one of the many bar streets here on the island peering into that world of lonely men and women selling a so called good time. This subculture of sexual tourism in Thailand is incomprehensible, not on any presumptuous moral grounds, but on shear size alone. Bar after bar of bored women and horny guys going through the motions with money on their mind. We could only imagine all the other cities where sex sells. “It’s like Las Vegas.” She said referring to another subculture of gamblers and partiers. “Just so many people all doing the same thing.”

It goes far beyond that. We lay in bed and watched The President’s state of the union address after his first year in office and I watched the faces in the crowd of politicians, composed of senators, legislatures, representatives, supreme justices, chief generals of staff, and etc. As Obama spoke and said things that made sense offering solutions and hope to the working people of America, the reactions of those that would oppose him and these ideas were as obvious as broken glass shining in the sun.

I could see the power brokers of Washington react and lean over making comments to one another on Obama’s key points. It was saddening. I was glad to be half a world away. The ideas of freedom, liberty, and justice for all are ideals held in a lofty place in my mind, but now I’ve come to realize that these are just that, ideals and not everyone can or will agree or accept them.

An old whore cackles in the night above the slow roar of the ocean waves. Her laugh comes with perfect timing. It’s a clear reminder of mine of a world that seems so hell bent on destroying itself. It’s funny as irony and sarcasm still remain one of my favorite flavors of enlightenment.

I’m not sure who’s passing by to go to work this early versus who is sneaking home this late. None the less, the old gals are sitting out down the street making sure the last dog is hung.

It reminds me of my childhood living above the Hondo Bar, with the strange random sounds of heartache and misery in the form of people up all night pretending to be having a good time. It some sort of twisted way in comforts me. I’m quickly reminded that I’m not the only other person in this world that has been broken and run over by life and the powers that be. Despite all that, I too am still here.

If there are more people in the world now, who are all pursuing the same things then what direction is the world heading? “A smoldering ball of shit!” George Carlin has predicted. Call me a cynic, but I’m inclined to agree.

No man should bring children into the world who is unwilling to persevere to the end in their nature and education. –Plato

Too bad not many people know who the fuck Plato was as they keep pumping out little replicas of themselves into a world that needs another human being as much as it needs more plastic.

Trust me I’m not bitter about all of this, just confused. That we as a species continue grow at an exponential rate with no clue as how in the hell we are going to take care of all these people and the world we live on.

For my wife and I, we will be the last of our kind. Our love will not be passed on.  I’m sure it sounds selfish and in fact it does to me too as I write it out so directly.

Yet, our love is the dwell point for an entire personal history that brought us together. Generations of generations of life times of our parents and ancestors who came together with us as the end result will be gone in a blink of an eye when we too eventually pass from this world.

In geological time, man is but a spec of dust. So in that sense perhaps I won’t worry so much about the planet as a whole and continue to accept that human beings are a virus and the planet is infected with something akin to a bad cold. Gaia will eventually tire of us and rid herself of us and our polluting ways.

What a harbinger of doom and gloom I am. Cup of coffee anyone?