Ass Clown ParadeOctober 29, 2010
The Ass Clown Parade.
I started working at the age of 13. I’m almost certain that every job since then has had an Ass Clown either as a coworker or heaven forbid, the boss.
I swear sometimes I’ve been put on this earth to endure and survive Ass Clowns. I must be paying some sort of Karmic debt or as Nietzsche so astutely pointed out, “Hell is other people.”
What’s an Ass Clown? Well, that may be open to debate, but only an Ass Clown would want to debate that. If you have to ask, then chances are you might just be an Ass Clown yourself.
The majority of Ass Clowns in my life have been either sawed off little self centered power hungry micromanaging control freaks or brain dead old skags who can only see things in black and white.
Sometimes Ass Clowns are easy to spot by the nature of their uniform and their utility belt of power control apparatuses, which usually is accompanied by the almighty name tag with title.
See Ass Clowns have no real authority in the world so they have to try to fool themselves and the unsuspecting naïve good hearted but doomed masses with their Ass Clown regalia. They have no real authority as they themselves are no authority on anything pertinent or real that can make a difference is peoples lives for the better.
Ass Clowns like to drape themselves in titles, awards, certificates, and PHD’s in bull shit studies that would confab the most saturated academic somnambulist.
Still, we seem to be up to our collective necks with Ass Clowns. I blame consumer materialism as it seems to generate Ass Clowns like mold in a gym locker.
Perhaps it’s a genetic trait. Could there be an Ass Clown gene? How else can such abhorrent behavior to fellow human beings be so naturally and clueless engaged in?
I’ll be honest, when we as Americans allowed the king of Ass Clowns to stay in the white house a second time I thought the end was nigh. I packed up what was left of my sanity and got the hell out of the country. I was a wide eye fool to think that I could escape the Ass Clown factor in my life.
Thanks to globalization, Ass Clownery seems to be rampant on the planet. In my travels, I’ve managed to continue to run into their ilk in a variety of nations, races, and flavors.
We as Americans do not have the market cornered on Ass Clowns. Yet we’re very well represented by them in the mass media and in some bizarre twisted curse of fate this has help generate the new breed of globalized Ass Clowns.
Hell. I’m just as exhausted pointing this out, as I am when dealing with an Ass Clown in person.
I’ve tried a range of remedies in my lifetime to rid myself of these masters of time suckage but with little success, as no sooner do you cut the head or legs off one does another seem to pop up like the human boil they are.
I’ve tried kindness, understanding, avoidance, and even violence. Nothing seems to be effective. The simple fact is that you can not change an Ass Clown.
The best you can do is to try to minimize your exposure to them. Over the years I’ve tried to be my own boss (which is can be a slippery slope to becoming and Ass Clown if you have more than one employee other than yourself), to working for small somewhat forgotten employers in jobs than no one else would really want in places no one else also would really go to.
“You have a problem with authority!” Maybe so, but only an Ass Clown would point that out.
I also recommend just saying “No” to Ass Clowns and their grocery list of demands. You have to be firm and willing to walk away or be removed from your situation when taking this strategy. The reality is that in either case, you will indeed be better off in the long run. Familiarity breeds contempt and if one can accept the fact that Ass Clowns are everywhere, what do you really have to lose? At least you may gain some peace of mind, even if only momentarily.
Ultimately there is no solution to dealing with this vermin. It honestly seems part of human nature. I can only hope that George Carlin was right and that eventually this planet will shake us all off like a bunch of fleas.
In the meantime, Ass Clowns are doing their damdest to get off the planet they have managed to turn into a smog filled smoldering ball of shit. Ass Clowns in space! That’s the cockroach nature of Ass Clowns, to do everything within their reach to keep and propagate their Ass Clown way of life.
Until then, I’m refusing to salute the Ass Clown Parade. I’d ask you to join me…but that would make me an Ass Clown too.